I have had a lot of experiences in my life. Just as we all have. I have enjoyed professional success on a platform few women ever experience.
Of course the ups and downs financially and personally were common for many of my friends as well as myself. As painful as the times were for some reason we didn’t talk about it much. I think we were too exhausted from pretending everything was perfect. In looking back I believe our boomer generation made “rock and roll” an emotional art form.
I have always tried to appear as if I have the world by the tail depending on how much grit I could muster up.
This year I experienced a dark night of the soul and nearly gave up. It was a life punch that took the breath from my very being. The bones in my soul ached. Heard said “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I think it’s what you learn in those times that gives you strength.
Now I am more acutely aware of what I have always intellectually known …everyone has a story. We all have things we cry about, things we laugh about, and things we secretly hope for.
Although I was a national speaker and trainer I was always a very private person. I steered away from intimate conversations. I thought it was admirable to have the temperament of June Cleaver.
For those of you who are reading this who aren’t boomers, June Cleaver was a really boring mom on a weekly television show in the 60’s. She was happy, calm, wore heels and shirtwaist dresses and never ever thought about herself. I mean NEVER! I would think, “WOW, that is how I want to be when I grow up.” I would wonder why our family couldn’t be like the Cleavers. In looking back the Cleavers were a crazy dysfunctional family.
Their problems could always be solved in a thirty-minute show and always had a happy ending with everyone laughing and hugging.
Life has not been all hugs like June’s. I have enjoyed lots of laughter and had my share of tears. This I do believe with all my heart… if I had to choose to experience the pain or to experience nothingness I would choose the pain.
I think I am wiser now. Much more vulnerable and my soul and my spirit are in control most of the time. I remember thinking like this when I was a little girl. I often ask myself “Why did it take so long to look at the world with wonder?”
I believe Picasso pretty much nailed it when he said, “It takes a long time to become young.”
Think I will raise a glass to that one.